Photos of our Trip

So we took a lot of pictures in Hawaii... I think I'll split up the photos to a couple blog posts so it isn't too overwhelming. If you received the ones I emailed and had to trudge through more than 60 photos, I apologize. :)

Here we go (in no particular order)! Captions are under the photos...

Some surfboards waiting for a wave at a hotel nearby

Shawn in front of a Banyan Tree (they are everywhere in HI and definitely the coolest trees we've ever seen!)

Typical Beach scene...

This photo was actually taken with Shawn's cell phone near the Pali highway... I was quite impressed!

We take a picture of our heads together every time we go somewhere cool... even snorkeling (quite possibly the best $40 we have ever spent!)

Doesn't this just scream Hawaii?

We saw a million different shades of ocean... from green to blue. The water was so much clearer than most beaches I've been to. We saw fish under the water while standing on piers. Amazing!

We probably took 15 sunset shots... Here is one.

I wish we'd gotten a photo of our beautiful lays from the Makua (Hawai'ian for parents) when they were a little fresher... but yes, we got lei'd at the airport. :)

I love the color in this sunset... the sun looks like it's on fire!

I don't know why I find Colorado blue skies and Hawai'ian blue oceans so pretty but I just love the vibrancy there... Every corner we turned gave us another beautiful scene. I have always loved the ocean but have never seen water as beautiful as here...

Those were random, huh? Tomorrow I'll show you some photos from our Lost tour. But for now... we have a season premier to watch!

And thank you, thank you, thank you for so many kind thoughts, well wishes and sticky vibes. I am really tired but not sure if it's all in my head, jet lag, or a pregnancy symptom. On Monday I take my blood test so we'll know for sure if we were successful!!

Aloha!

So I am supposed to be taking a nap, paying bills, folding laundry, etc, but I thought I'd pop over here really quickly and say hello.  We are back from Hawai'i... it was fantastic and I have much to share.  I think I'll do that tomorrow when I can show you the pictures as well.  

The transfer went well ~ out of 4 follicles, 3 eggs were retrieved and from those 3 eggs, 2 made embryos ~ nice healthy 8 celled ones ones at that.  After 2.5 days of bedrest, I don't see any reason why the baby makin' factory isn't open for business but we will find out on 2/4 officially.   Thanks to those who sent sticky vibes and healthy embryo vibes... Keep 'em coming a few more days (pretty please) until we know how it went!!

The parents are fantastic, by the way ~ better than we'd hoped (and we'd had high expectations!).  They wined and dined us, gave us personal tours (complete with much needed history lessons ~ we didn't learn anything about Hawai'i in school!!), introduced us to some very cool friends and made us feel right at home.  They're good people and I really think they deserve for something sweet and cuddly to come their way...

I've been reading blogs as I had free time and will hop around and catch up when I can.  But for now, I still have a lot of catching up here at home!

Hope you are all well and thanks again for all the well wishes... Now we just have to wait!!

You say Goodbye..

... I can't seem to stop blogging. ;)  I was trying to basically say goodbye yesterday because I figured I'd be too busy packing, cleaning, getting my toenails did (I'll share a picture later ~ they are so cute!) to post anymore.  But I had to share one more funny.  Hopefully it won't be one of those "you had to be there" stories.

I don't know what happened yesterday but for some reason there was air in our pipes.  You know, so when you turn on the faucets on the sinks, they hiss and spray and carry on and startle you?  I noticed it when I was rinsing out my recycleables from my lunch at work but I was alone in the kitchen when it happened so the boys didn't have a chance to be warned.

Last night when we sent them into the bathroom to brush their teeth, Gavin unsuspectingly turned the water on.  We heard it sputter and then he quickly shut it back off.  Tyler said "whoa".  They'd never seen anything like this before and had no idea what was happening.  I mockingly angrily told them to brush their teeth, like they were told and Gavin said "but I think the water is all gone!"  Giggling now, at their reaction, Shawn turned the water on to let all the air out of the pipes and show them that the water was indeed not gone.  Despite our being in the bathroom, they were now TERRIFIED of the faucets.  (yes, our children are weenies)

Being the good mommy that I am, I did not console them and assure them the faucets were not going to eat them.  No, with tears streaming down my face because I was laughing so hard at my boys's terror, I called my mom to tell her about it so she, too, could also have a chuckle at my children's expense.  

I really do think it had to have been one of the funniest things I've ever experienced.

It's Almost That Time...

So things are plugging along on the surrogacy front and we are getting down to the wire. My mom arrives on Sunday to watch the boys, Shawn and I leave on Monday. My body is succumbing to the things the drugs and hormones are asking of it ~ getting ready to grow a new baby. BabyMama's body is doing its magic too, getting those tiny little follicles all healthy and big and ready to make a baby.

If you can find it in your hearts to send us good baby makin' vibes, I'd be much appreciative.

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Thank you for all the book advice. I decided to take it, and move on. I am just starting yet another Oprah recommendation ... So far I'm about 12 pages in and 980 left to go. I'm hoping with a combination of 15 hours in an airplane in the next week and a half, I can get through it. I've heard only good things and so far, so good.

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Miyagi finally got a bath last night. He is no longer stinky and we gave him a hair cut too. Apparently Shawn's clippers are made for human hair, not dog hair, so we did it with scissors. Not the smartest thing we've ever done... but once you start something like that, you really can't stop. Here he is:

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My handsome little camera hogs, too:

And with that... This is good bye! I probably won't check in again as this weekend is swamped with packing, laundry, cleaning and my much anticipated ladies night out with my favorite mamas... I doubt I'll check in much while we're in Hawaii, at least until I'm on bed rest. But I promise to have lots of stories and pics to share when I return.

Have a great week!

Delimma

I am an addict, of sorts.  There are certain things that I do not believe I could happily live without in my life.  The obvious, my family, friends, and other loved ones... of course.  Popcorn.  Chocolate.  And books.  I love chick lit... my favorite authors are Jodi Picoult, Anita Shrieve, Jennifer Weiner, Joyce Carol Oates... but I also am a fan of Stephen King and Wally Lamb.  I occasionally read non~fiction books as well... autobiographies, books on religion... I could go on and on.  There are 83 (!! I had not counted before just now and assumed my number was more like 40) books on my bookshelf waiting to be read.  Most of them I acquired from PBS and they didn't cost me more than the shipping of a book I'd already read.  I pick up books at thrift stores and yard sales.  I swap with friends.  I receive them as gifts.  

They are almost like friends... I met them briefly when I first read the synopsis on the back cover.  I lovingly store them until it is their time to spend on my bedside table.  Once I am finished, I pass them on so someone else can love them as I have.

I've enjoyed every book Oprah has ever put on her book club list that I've read so far.  Except this one.  The plot of this book intrigued me.  Often a book that is made into a movie is decent, or no one would profit from a movie inspired by said book, right?  This one, however, I just can not get into.

I've been reading it since my mom gave it to me at the beginning of December and have made it to page 64.  I can't seem to stay awake while I am reading it.  The writing isn't bad, but it doesn't hold my interest.   It was originally written in Spanish and I'm reading the English translation, of course.  I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not.  I really can't quite put my finger on what exactly my problem is.  I wanted to love it... I was excited to start reading it.

I look at it, waiting to be devoured, and it doesn't call to me.  In fact, my only reason for wanting to read it is so I can move on to something else.  But I'm starting to think I'm wasting precious time on a book I'm not enjoying... and am seriously considering not finishing it.  I can count on one hand ~ perhaps even one finger ~ the number of times I've not finished a book.  I feel guilty for not giving it more of a chance... that I might be glad I read it when I finish it... that I'll miss out on a feeling of accomplishment for reading something a bit out of the norm for me (except really, it's not.  The only thing abnormal is that I'm not enjoying every second)... that it'll get better as I get further along...  But what if none of those things happen?  I can easily see this book not getting read for months ~ even with two 7+ hour plane rides in my very near future.  

So why the long post about something that isn't such a big deal, in the grand scheme of things?  Not sure... perhaps the hormones have still gone to my head?  

What say you, fellow readers out there in blog land?  I know some of you must have faced a situation like this.  Should I feel bad for putting it away?  Should I keep plugging through?  Have any of you read this book, and be able to give me some insight on why I should finish?  

Twins

I've been knitting all weekend. I meant to get an earlier start, but the yarn I ordered on eBay took two weeks to arrive at my house. Here, are the finished hats:
This week, a little boy and girl that used to live in my belly, are turning two. Most of you know that I'm about to get pregnant as a surrogate mom... And this isn't my first time. It's a strange position to be in, once the babies are born. I feel a connection with them because they were a part of me for nine months. Yet there is a disconnect because I have seen only pictures and heard stories from their parents. I want to give them something to celebrate their special day, but not just any old toy or trinket that will eventually be discarded. So I knitted them each a hat.

I've been asked almost every time the subject of surrogacy comes up, why I decided to become a surrogate mother. I probably couldn't even verbalize all the reasons that I felt in my heart this was the right thing for me to do.

They range from pregnancy was easy for me... to I wanted to be able to give someone else a gift like the gifts my boys have been to me. From it would help us financially... to it's one small way I can make an impact on someone other than my immediate friends and family. I'll never be a doctor, a teacher, a firefighter, or any other such profession that really makes a difference in the world. This was a way I could. Reasons like connecting with the couple I'm working with... to teaching my children about life ~ growing a child in my tummy.

Shawn and I knew soon after Gavin was born that we were done ~ that our family was complete. In fact, he wasn't even 6 months old when Shawn got "fixed"... Gavin was still a baby when I decided that surrogacy was something I should explore. We were done with our family, but my womb still had lots of life left in it.

I found a website, in my research, where you could read a sort of classified ads section where Intended Parents posted ads searching for women to carry their children. M & L stood out to me right away and I emailed them, telling them that their story had touched me and I wanted to get to know them. We exchanged emails for awhile and then decided to meet. They only lived 2 1/2 hours away and much of their family was in Denver. We got along very well right from the start and after lunch they came back to my home to meet my family. Watching L hold Gavin, then a baby, I knew that these folks needed to be parents. And I needed to help them.

A few days after their meeting, they emailed me and told me they'd like to work with me, if I felt they were a good match for me. I immediately said "yes" and we got to work... scheduling appointments, talking to attorneys, making plans.

We had a few hiccups along the way. I had a pesky little dermoid cyst pop up in one of my ovaries which had to be surgically removed. Then L's eggs were no longer viable ~ forcing us to use an egg donor to create the embryos. About 18 months after we met, we finally got to the day of the transfer. M & L picked me up at my home and drove me to the hospital that day. They were anxious and I was nervous. We didn't talk a whole lot on the 1/2 hour drive to the clinic. I met the doctor for the first time, right before he placed the two 3 day old embryos in my uterus. Before they were put in my tummy, M & L got to see them under a microscope ~ their first glimpse of their babies.

It was quick and painless and after some time with my hips elevated, they drove me back home. Now all we could do was wait. I went about my life and I'm sure M & L went about theirs as best they could. Two weeks later, it was time for a blood test. I went alone, as I had so many times for blood draws prior to the transfer, and then went about my day. That afternoon I got the phone call ~ I was "definitely" pregnant were the words I heard. My hormone levels were very high and there was no doubt. It worked! As soon as I hung up, I called M to tell him the news. We both cried ~ this day was so long coming ... mostly for them but for me also. I told him to drink a celebratory glass of wine on my behalf and he assured me they would.

I think I was about 8 weeks along when we found out that the baby I was carrying was in fact two. Two separate sacs of amniotic fluid. Two heart beats. Two babies. M & L were with me in the room and I could see them both on the ultrasound even before the nurse said the words. I had a hard time keeping my mouth shut, but tried to be patient and let M & L bask in the moment ~ seeing their healthy lil babies on the screen in front of us. I didn't think about the road ahead as I'm sure they didn't either.

The rest of the pregnancy was not uneventful. Early on we had a scare as some test results showed a possible chromosomal abnormality with baby B (the little boy, though we didn't know it at the time). We switched from the fertility clinic to an Ob/Gyn for high risk pregnancies. We started to think about what would happen if there was something wrong. Luckily, everything was Ok. The numbers balanced out eventually and we never had to experience that "what if".

About 3 months into the pregnancy, I started experiencing stomach pains worse than any pain I'd ever had before. I got what I called "attacks" after I ate anything fatty or red meat ~ hours of intense pain that I was unable to alleviate. I couldn't take medication and even vomiting did not help. More tests and ultrasounds discovered that I had gall stones. We had to decide whether or not to remove my gall bladder during pregnancy or to wait another 6 months to operate, after the twins were born. My belly was growing quickly and my food options were getting more and more limited. After much deliberation, we decided to go through with the operation. At about 16 weeks gestation, I had a laproscopic surgery to remove my gall bladder.

Things went fairly smoothly after that. The babies grew and grew while I went about my life. M & L came to Denver often ~ they attended every ultrasound and we became good friends through it all.

On January 1st I started having contractions. I was pretty sure that my labor was starting ~ about 3 weeks before my due date. Once we arrived at the hospital, however, the contractions stopped. In the end, they had to be coerced to come out, just as my own boys did.

We tried to have a vaginal birth ~ I had pushed out two nine pound babies already and there was no doubt in my mind that I could do the same again. We ended up having a scheduled induction at 39 weeks. They were clearly not coming out on their own. We had a full crowd in my room. M & L were there, of course, as well as my friend Ellen (who was there to be my doula) and my mom. Shawn was home with our boys, probably thankful to be missing the ordeal. ;) It was a strange joining of families ~ theirs and mine.

My water was broken and when things didn't progress naturally, pitocin was ordered. I labored for awhile, relatively comfortable and eventually the pain was bad enough to get an epidural. When it was time to push, however, it was quickly clear that the twins were not coming this way. They were both trying to come out at the same time and neither one could get through the birth canal with another head in the way.

I was prepped for a C~section and immediately burst into tears. I was disappointed in myself, not being able to get them out on my own. Minutes later, M & L holding my hands, S & L were out. I cried with M & L as they heard the first cries of the little treasures they had waited 13 years to meet. They were big babies ~ L, the boy, was 6 lbs and S, the girl, was 7 lbs 13 oz. They were healthy and pink with a shock of dark hair on each of them. As I was cleaned and stitched up, M & L thanked me over and over through their tears.

I was so proud to have been a part of it.

This week they turn two. I can't believe that chapter in my life was so long ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. From everything I have been able to see, through pictures, phone calls and emails, they are happy and healthy and just the perfect little family. They both have big brown eyes and dark curly black hair. Just beautiful... and loved.

Lost and Found

First a quick thank you to all the sweet care, concern and comments for my mental well being after the last miserable post I posted.  It got worse for a couple days but I'm finally feeling more like myself today.  I was talking to Baby Mama about it and she had similar ups and downs while on Estrogen.  So it sounds like this is normal, albeit sucky, and we're just going to have to get used to it until a little ways into the pregnancy when my body takes over on its own.  

It was really bad though... Thursday especially.  I am not normally a person who is prone to getting blue, sad, depressed.  I am more of a glass half full type of person and can find a bright side in almost any situation.  So to go through a period of time where I couldn't even make my face smile was unusual for me.  There were tears in my eyes on the verge of spilling at any second, but with no (good) reason to cry, they didn't come.  They just sat there, waiting.

I truly felt that I'd lost myself.   I was suffocating... a feeling I have never known.

Yesterday was a better day and Shawn and I even got a date last night.  I got tickets to a new Comedy Club near us and at the last minute was able to corral my boss and a co~worker and their dates and we all went out for a night of laughs and giggles.  It was definitely good to release some of that negative energy that had been building up and laugh until my face literally ached.  Even the boys were happy to see their beloved Barb (the babysitter).  We haven't called her in ages because my in~laws have been here and were able to watch the boys occasionally so we could have some time alone.  Lately that hasn't been the case, and it's hard to justify the extra cash paying a babysitter costs.  But when the Comedy Club sends you free tickets (with no drink minimum!), paying $40 for a babysitter doesn't seem like such a big deal.

Anyway, hopefully I'll stay back to normal, but I'm not sure because I just added another Estrogen patch today.  Maybe if I don't think about it, it won't affect me. ;)

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Moving on... Some of you may remember the glorious day when we found Gavin's beloved cowboy boots in a thrift store?   They all but replaced Ella (Ria's daughter) as the love of his life.  He wore them every day all summer and into the fall.  He wore them to school, to the park, even to the beach (I tried to find evidence of this but all I can find are barefoot pics, so you'll have to take my word for it).  Here's one on the first day of school, mid~August:

Anyway, they were the best thrift store treasure ever and he wore them almost every day.  Then, one fateful day, they got lost.  We tore the house up trying to find them.  And think about it ~ how do SHOES get lost?  You wouldn't leave them in a shopping cart at the grocery store... or at a friend's house... or in the car... We just couldn't figure out what had happened to them.  We looked in his bedroom, in the designated shoe place, downstairs in the playroom in the basement, all over the house.  They had disappeared into thin air.  He was sad but he had gotten some Crocs boots as a Birthday Brother gift for Tyler's birthday back in August, so those substituted his beloved cowboy boots.  But it just wasn't the same.

Finally, Christmas rolled around... about a month after the mysterious disappearance of the beloved cowboy boots.  When Grandma asked him what he wanted for Christmas from her, he promptly said he would like some new cowboy boots.  Of course, being Grandma, she obliged.  He loved them and wore them almost daily, as long as there wasn't snow to be played in (he is careful not to ruin them).

Yesterday, as I was standing in my bathroom getting ready for work, I heard yelling and commotion coming from Gavin's room.  He burst into our bedroom, shouting "I found my COWBOY BOOTS!!"  He was more excited than I can remember seeing him ~ at least since Christmas ~ and I was stunned to see the missing treasure.  Apparently, they had somehow found their way into a backpack in his closet ... of course a place we hadn't thought to look.  He also found his Colts hat, some matchbox cars and a book we'd gotten that he had only read twice before it disappeared (some of these things we hadn't even known were missing!).  It was almost like Christmas all over again...

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In other news... or rather, updates... just a little over a week before Shawn and I fly to Hawaii!  I haven't even started packing or thought too much about it, but Baby Mama tells me it's 60~80 degrees there and that sounds like heaven after cold, snowy Denver.  We're getting really excited to go and the boys, of course, are looking forward to getting spoiled by Grandma for a week.  I can't wait to meet Baby Mama and Baby Daddy... to see new places... walk on the beach... maybe sneak another date with my husband in... and even the bed rest while the baby is implanting sounds wonderful.  I might actually catch up on my magazines and finish the book I've been slowly trudging through.

I have one last Ladies Night Out with my favorite Mamas before (hopefully) getting pregnant and having 9 months of abstinence.  We are going out Saturday night to see a friend of Ria's' band ... which I am sure will be fun.

And now... we are off to run errands.  Happy Saturday!

January Blues

It appears I am in a funk. In fact, I'd say it's more than a funk. I'm pissed off and I'm not sure why. I have no reason to be... I have everything I need, and most of the things I want. But somehow I can't stop focusing on the stupid little things that aggravate me on a daily basis and it's starting to get to the point where I don't even feel like myself anymore. I do have some things to look forward to, like a trip to Hawaii... spending time with my kids... there are always things to read... things to knit... And I'm not sure what is preventing me from looking at those things rather than the tiny, insignificant, irritating things.

I'm hoping it is a hormone thing... I have started my medication for the upcoming transfer for the surrogacy. The medication is a temporary thing, as I'd like to hope my funk will be.

So if I'm quiet lately, that's why. I try to live by the mantra that "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". My poor family and co~workers are having a hard time avoiding my nastiness but hopefully my readers can.

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Tyler got his report card today. He did really well and is reading at an end of 2nd grade level, which I'm very proud of. One thing she mentioned a couple times in her comments though (she = teacher, sorry), is that he has been whiny and sad and frustrated lately. Hmmmm... sounds like someone else I know. Ahem.

So at dinner tonight, we talked about what's making him sad at school. Seems he is having a hard time getting his work done on time ~ either due to not being given enough time or probably more likely, not working when he should be working. Gavin suggested he concentrate more. (is this child really 4.5 years old?) One thing I can do to help is to pack him smaller lunches... He doesn't have a lot of time for lunch and often he's eating while everyone else is playing, because I'm giving him too many food groups. Oops. So my packing him smaller lunches will help him get out all his talking at recess rather than during school.

During this conversation about a time and a place... We talked about eating when it's time to eat and working when it's time to work and most importantly, listening to moms & teachers when they are talking because they almost always have something important to say and if you aren't listening you might miss it and get in trouble. When I asked my boys if they remember what happens when they get in trouble at school, Gavin promptly replied: "we get drowned~ed".

Tylerism

Last night, Tyler thought it might be fun to fill a cup of water and put it in the freezer to see what it looked like frozen the next morning. Shawn helped him devise a sort of popsicle with a wooden spoon in the cup. This morning he was overjoyed to see his ice popsicle! When I asked him to go do his chores, he wanted to put it back in the freezer so after school he could "have some more icy fun".

Just tickled me. :)

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Oh and thank you for all the comments on Miyagi. He's really great! He did pee in his kennel last night but I think 8 hours might have just been too much now that he's eating and drinking. Not sure how to remedy that other than letting him have run of the laundry room with some pee pads on the floor for accidents? I don't want him to have to sleep in his own piss. Ewww.
He's coming to work with me today. Hopefully that'll go Ok.

Happy Monday!

Pics of Miyagi

So I don't think I am a great dog photographer... it's hard to catch him in the right position. But here he is... dirty... stinky... and completely at home in his new family.

He is all teeth! Those bottom teeth stick out all the time and are really crooked. But he almost looks like he's smiling doesn't he?
He looks all shiny and pretty here but he is in dire need of a bath.

He's doing really great though... he just, as I was typing this, ran down the stairs after being up with the boys in their bedroom, ran to the door and when I opened it he went out and pooped. So far potty training is going pretty good ~ still just one accident from yesterday. Hooray!


I think we'll keep him :)

He's here!

I was told Monday, at the earliest, but don't hold my breath.  Today, on the way home from the zoo and grocery shopping, I got a call on my cell phone saying that the dog we'd adopted had come through his surgery and was ready to go home.  Could I be there in an hour?  

After unloading the groceries and hastily putting them away, with a skip in our steps, Gavin and I went to pick up Miyagi.  He didn't seem to have been affected by the anesthesia... his tail wagging and as anxious to go as we were anxious to bring him home.  He hopped right in the car, like it was something he did every day, and sat on my lap the whole way home.

He peed (in the neighbor's yard... while they were outside putting away holiday lights... oops!) before he came inside.  An hour later he peed on the floor.  Under Shawn's watch, while I was making dinner, I might add.  But he does like treats and we seem to be off to a good start so far.  He also likes toys and he loves the boys as much as they love him.  Mostly Gavin, though.  It's quite clear to us, 3 hours in, that he is going to be Gavin's dog.  He loves all of us and seems really happy to be here (or maybe just happy to be out of the shelter)... He and Aphrodite are getting along fine so far.  She showed him she was boss and is now ignoring him.  Persephone on the other hand... She's terrified of him.  She puffs up all her fur and hisses at him before running away.  And he takes that as his cue to chase her.  Hopefully they'll get along soon!

I'll take pictures tomorrow.  He's a funny looking dog ~ you'll see what I mean.  His bottom teeth stick out in the under bite of all under bites and he needed braces as a puppy. ;)  But he's so great and we're so excited to have him.  Hopefully he trains quickly... we shall see.

Gavin~isms

Colorado is dry.  Winter in Colorado is extra dry.  I try to be really diligent about putting lotion on the boys after their baths to avoid dry, itchy skin, but somehow I have not been great about Gavin's feet.  They got really dry and started to peel.  I hadn't noticed because I don't often observe the bottom of his feet like I did when he was a baby... So when he came to me, to show me his dry feet, exclaiming "Mom!  My feet are cracking up!!" I had no clue what he was talking about.

Thank goodness for Melt.   He's all better now, and his feet are no longer all cracked up.

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We went to the Animal Shelter today to visit Miyagi.  The poor little thing is still in a pen with two other dogs, one of which is getting more aggressive every day.  It was hard to leave our new lil guy there when he could be home with us, warm and cozy with lots of toys and room to run around.  Gavin isn't crazy about the loudness that comes with a visit to the shelter.  He stood back, away from the cages, quietly observing the madness.  I asked him if he was scared and he said "no, but I'm ready to get away from all these barkers!".  

Miyagi should be able to come home on Monday... *fingers crossed*

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Happy Friday :)

Jessica's Words of Wisdom for Marriages

I met Jessica through a friend... One of the best friends I've ever made, though we don't keep in touch like we used to. Jessica has been an inspiration to our mutual friend as well as myself. She's beautiful on the inside and out. She has four beautiful children as well and is a really neat person, mother, friend, and from what I can tell, spouse. She has a blog on her myspace page and her reflective post that I read this morning just needed to be repeated. A lot of her advice on how to keep your marriage strong is common sense, but it was the things that I don't think to do that I loved being reminded about. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

I was thinking back, today, over the past year. Of course, I was at first and foremost, overwhelmed by the fact that I just celebrated *10* years of marriage. I thought I would share the things that I think, have kept our marriage not just good, but GREAT. We BOTH say that we have the perfect marriage. And frankly, to everyone looking in on us, they would laugh at that statement. But, when it comes down to it, if WE think it is, IT IS...so take these pointers with a grain of salt :) (these are in no particular order)

*PUT YOUR MARRIAGE FIRST (EVEN BEFORE YOUR KIDS): Yeah, counter intuitive, I know. Honestly, the BEST thing u can give your kids in the long run, is an example of a HEALTHY loving relationship between their parents. Paul and I both have fantastic examples of very love filled and great marriages and I think that has really helped us a lot. Your kids wont remember that you missed one soccer game because you went on a date....they WILL remember how much u loved each other

*TAKE TIME TO REMEMBER WHY U LOVE EACH OTHER: People, I forget I love Paul lots of times during the week...everyone does. (and I am SURE he forgets he loves me too) Its part of being in a relationship for such a long period of time and having a lot of responsibility and stress. You HAVE to take time to be together, without others and without your kids. It doesn't HAVE to be out on the town. We often have "date nite" in where we send the kids to bed a little earlier and order carry out. If you DON'T do this, u get sucked into the mundane and sometimes overwhelming plight that is marriage and parenthood. You DID once NOT have kids...and you once wanted to do NOTHING more then be with your spouse and enjoyed talking with them...remember this...and often. The reality of marriage is sticky kitchen floors, poopy diapers and chicken nuggets...its not amazing mind blowing sex and lobster dinners...but you HAVE to remember that its MORE then the sticky floors, diapers and nuggets too :) Paul is my best friend, and I have to keep remembering that when one of the bitches of the world try to make me feel like I'm not worth the effort...The only person I really need as my best friend is him, and if u cant say that about ur man, then I really feel bad for you.

*DON'T FORGET WHO YOU ARE: Take time doing things on your own, AWAY from your spouse and away from your kids. I really enjoy working out and hanging out drinking a glass of wine with my girlfriends...for you it may be something different. I often forget I am more then just a mother, wife and house cleaner...when I start to forget I get overwhelmed and sad. Paul VERY much respects that I need those 2 things. I am happier wife and mother after I take a good hard run, or have a night out with my girls. And on the flip side, YOU should be encouraging for your SPOUSE to not forget who HE is. Don't whine and bitch when he wants to go out with HIS friends, because he needs to remember just as much as u do. Paul really enjoys riding, especially in the summer. I often spend my Saturdays alone and yeah, its not my favorite thing in the world to watch the kids all day by myself on Saturday, but I realize he needs that time to remember who PAUL is.

*MAKE UR SEX LIFE A PRIORITY...and NOT an afterthought. Honestly, in our lives, THIS is the number one indicator that things are going good, or not good. I guess it may sound shallow, but I really believe that I am NOT the only one who thinks it. What can possibly bring u closer then PHYSICALLY being close?

The Ultimate Pet Post

"Rudolph, the Red Nosed Kitty aka Aphrodite"

I'm not sure what that is on her nose... but we thought it was highly hilarious.

So Miyazaki is not with us any longer. It was a really hard decision to make but it was pretty clear, quickly, that he was not a good fit for our family. I hated taking him back to the home we adopted him from, not knowing if he had been abused there (I hate to make assumptions about people, but they did seem a tad "off" to me and ... someone hurt this dog). But we couldn't keep him for the sole reason of giving him a better life than the one he'd come from if he wasn't beneficial for our family as well. He liked me, but no one else. He would completely ignore any attempts the boys made to play with him, talk to him, pet him. It may have been too soon to tell, but it seemed like he wasn't going to warm up to anyone but me. And then... the spraying began. And he refused to pee or poop outside, despite Shawn and I both spending literally hours trying to him to go out. I could not figure out how to reward him and train him and he was still barely eating or drinking after several days. The kids were in agreement when we decided we weren't the right home for him, so we called to see if we could bring him back and they agreed (I think they were expecting it).

Today I called the animal shelter, where we'd put two dogs on hold. They were both still available so after work, Tyler and I went to meet them. The Chihuahua was in a cage with a Yorkie and another puppy and when we approached the cage and all three dogs ran up to greet us, the Chihuahua promptly attacked the Yorkie. It was awful! And that poor lil Yorkie just stood there shaking. I wanted to hold it, but it was already adopted and they won't let you hold the ones that are spoken for. Sad, sweet lil guy. So I had visions of the Chihuahua attacking my kitties and quickly moved on to the Shih Tzu.

He stood there in between the other two dogs in his cage, calmly wagging tail and looking up at us, expectantly. We took him out of the cage so we could meet him properly. He. Is. Perfect. He's sweet and soft and energetic and loved both Tyler & me and he's coming home with us next week, after he is fixed. I can hardly wait! I'm pretty sure he's mixed with a poodle... he has a shock of dark black curls... he's dirty and in dire need of a bath... and some attention. He couldn't get enough of us, hopping around and wagging his tail.

We are thinking of naming him Miyagi. I'll post pictures when he comes home...