A letter

To the person asshole who broke into our car last night:

I'm wondering why you picked our car.  It would seem you have poor taste in stereos as the one you stole last night was purchased two weeks ago for a mere $92 at Best Buy.  I seriously doubt you'll get a lot of money from it when you sell it.  Were there no cars around that had better pickin's than what you found in my car?

Or did you just not like the Obama bumper stickers on the back?  

A request for next time, should there be one.  (And I don't doubt there will be as this is the second time we've had a stereo stolen from our vehicle in the five years we've lived in Colorado.)  Do you think you could please break the window on the side of the car that doesn't have a car seat in it?  Because really, it's not easy to get all those tiny shards of glass vacuumed up... and my five year old does not deserve to have his back cut up. 

The badge and key cards that you stole enabled my husband to get into a secure government facility.  They are meaningless to you, as you will not have any way of knowing where that facility is, nor would a thief like you ever qualify for the top secret security clearance that it takes to get into such a building.   But replacing that will be a huge hassle for him... taking up time that he could be working.  And his work?  Helping protect Americans (like you) from missiles that might be aimed at us from hostile countries.   Sorta shot yourself in the foot with that one.

I must say... you are quite ballsy.  To walk up to a car in the middle of a well lit and busy parking lot and shatter the glass in it... take the time to rifle through our belongings... and remove the stereo, XM radio receiver, and my husbands murse (man~purse)... when anyone could have interrupted you.  I'm just glad I didn't see you doing it.  I wonder if you had a gun on you, just in case I did?

Thanks for leaving the garage door opener and house keys alone.  I was able to get a few hours of sleep last night, despite how traumatic I found the whole situation, because I knew you didn't have access to our home.  It was very considerate of you to give me that peace of mind at least.

I have a feeling you aren't the sharpest tool in the shed, though.  You see, the XM receiver that you took had a remote control with it that you left behind for some reason.  It's useless to us now, of course, and you'll find it more difficult to pawn the receiver without it, I'd think.

I hope it was worth it to you.  And one day, when you're an adult with a family and some punk ass kid does this to you, I hope you remember this.  

Sincerely,

Amy

P.S.  I find it very ironic that there were no police officers patrolling the parking lot where you had your fun, yet on the way home I passed three cops clocking people.  Why would they target mostly law abiding citizens like me... who have never even considered breaking into someone's vehicle and destroying property, when there are people like you wreaking havoc on the town?