Just Gavin

Too often, my boys merge from Tyler and Gavin into TylerandGavin ~ almost one person instead of individuals. Shawn and I try to coax them away from each other occasionally so that we can get to know them separately but all too often we fail. Or they protest. Somehow they stay together. They love each other and want to be together. TylerandGavin.

In this brief hiatus of quasi~unemployment, I'm really embracing my time with Just Gavin. Now I understand my craving for alone time with each of my boys. Gavin's growing up before my eyes and somehow his chubby cheeks and sweet naivety have turned into a taller, slimmer, smarter almost 6 year old boy. No longer my baby. And he really hasn't been for some time as he's been adamantly telling me.

Today, I'm forced to accept it. His birthday is in less than two weeks ~ on Mother's Day, he'll be 6. He was born the day before Mother's Day and was my perfect present. The completion of the circle that was our family. His first year of school, as a Kindergartner, is coming quickly to a close. Next year he'll go all day.

But those things are easily overlooked and I would succumb to my denial of the end of his babyhood. My Just Gavin time has slapped my face into reality.

After school this afternoon, while Tyler was in his writer's club, Gavin and I sat on the couch together, talking about his day before we read books for homework. Suddenly, as I gazed at his eyes that are now capable of seeing so much more than I ever imagined they'd see... listening to words come out of his mouth that I don't remember teaching him... feeling the wheels turning in his head as he formulated the thoughts and how best to express them... it struck me.

My baby's all growed up. My baby isn't my baby anymore.

Well, maybe not ALL the way... he still cries when he's hurt and angry and frustrated. He still wants to hold us when he's sad. He still follows his daddy around like a lost puppy, watching and emulating.

But he's thinking like a big boy. He's reading like a big boy. Today for the first time, he started riding a two wheeler like a big boy. He's sweet and sensitive and impish and smart and ornery and delightful and argumentative and funny and serious and quiet and talkative and my baby and my little boy. My almost 6 year old little boy.