Tyler's 4 days into the new school year. So far, he loves 2nd grade. Unfortunately, he is so happy and comfortable there that he's already getting in trouble... Today he got a warning and then was told he was getting a phone call home from his teacher. Seems he can't stop talking.
I had similar issues when I was a little girl. I was relatively bright as a child and got mostly A's with little effort ... in every subject but conduct. In conduct I often got a C and comments like "she's such a social butterfly" stick out in my mind.
When I first meet someone, until I feel them out and am comfortable, I'm a little on the shy side. But once I find my niche and feel like I fit in and might even be liked, my true colors come out and it's hard to shut me up.
I mentioned in a post the other day about Tyler and I butting heads a bit more because we're so similar and this is definitely one good example of that. He didn't get in a lot of trouble in first grade because there were so many kids that were so much more stinkery than he was. But this year he's sitting at a table with two other boys ~ one of which was his best friend from first grade and the other of which he seems to be getting along well. He's requested to move to another table, but Ms. F seems to think that it's best if he learns to behave where he is, with the company that currently surrounds him.
It's difficult for me to know what to do in this situation... My mom says that it's Ms. F's responsibility to keep control of her class. And to an extent, that's definitely true. But I feel like I need to help her out by enforcing better behavior at home. He's certainly been allowed to talk at home (though we do stress not interrupting others because it's disrespectful) and perhaps that's part of the problem... all summer with no structure and being able to wax poetic about whatever it is that's on his mind.
It's hard for me to ground him, though I told him I would next time the teacher has to call home to discuss poor behavior that he knows better about, because I was there... I was 7 once and school was a very social avenue for me. I loved school, and not because I had a thirst for the type of adventure that can be found in books and learning. But because it meant time with my friends. That's something I've always cherished.
So we've talked about why it's important not to talk when the teacher is ~ how it's disrespectful and it would hurt our feelings if we were trying to talk and the person we were talking to wasn't paying attention. I've told him to use his warning from her as a trigger in his mind, to be extra quiet so he won't get a second scolding. But how to enforce that when I'm not there? Ugh. I just don't know.
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In other news... it was my last day with Gavin before he starts Kindergarten on Thursday. I let him choose our activities today and he decided to go to the Children's Museum. Of course, I forgot my camera, and he didn't want to go back and get it. Perhaps he's tired of being a model?
He had a blast, though. It's a great museum but we don't go often because Tyler's just a bit too old for it and we end up searching for activities that we think both kids will enjoy. I feel bad for Gavin about that, though, because he's missing out just by being the younger sibling. So when he suggested it today, I jumped at the chance to endulge him.
He, of course, chose McDonald's for lunch... which wasn't as fun without his brother to play with and I am not in the state to play on the cool obstacle course the new one by us has with him. So I don't think it was quite the same.
We ended the afternoon with a nap before Tyler came home... He's getting over a bug of some sort (or perhaps dealing with a reaction from the five (!) Kindergarten vaccines he had to get? So he has been sleeping more than usual.
All in all, it was a great day. I'm going to miss that lil booger when he goes off to school.
9 comments:
Wow... hm. Well, I think it is Mrs F's responsibility to find a positive application for his talkativeness rather than simply trying to coerce it out of him. There must be something she can do to help him develop that characteristic in a positive way. Knowing when to be quiet and when to use it to help others - or to give speeches and presentations - or to write it all down.
He has a lot to say - and it would really be a loss to see him structured for the sake of structure rather than a celebration of his individual characteristics.
Make sense? :)
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I come from a family of teachers (my mother, my sister, her husband, my brother, his wife, and my other brother), so my family has taught me a lot over the years.
It is important for Tyler to learn when it's appropriate to talk and when he needs to listen.
When he is at school, he is Mrs. F's responsibility and therefore she needs to deal with the chattiness in a way that she deems appropriate.
(That said, if you don't agree with the consequences, you should talk to Mrs. F. immediately.)
How you guys handle it at home is up to you, but I agree with your idea that inappropriate (I hate to use the word "bad") behavior at school will lead to consequences at home.
Our younger girl hates to write, so just about the worst consequence she can have at home is to have to write a letter of apology to the teacher for misbehaving that day.
I'm clueless on the when to / when not to TALK subject, but I do think that this too shall pass.
And Gavin? I can see why you'll miss him too!
such a cute little apple
Hmmm, if it continues to be a problem, I'd push to get his seat changed. BubTar gets into trouble like that (though not yet this year, even though today is day 3) and I'd try not to leave him in a position where he would be set up for a behavior failure. We do back up the teacher at home and that would be hard for me to do if she was keeping him in a situation where he couldn't really help himself.
We did the Children's Museum on BubTar's last day of summer, too!
I know you can't possibly imagine this but I was the exact same way as Tyler and you. LOL! I agree with the teacher. I think it is better for him to learn how to act in that situation. It is an interesting approach though. It is funny about you and Gavin. I asked Ella what she wanted to do on our last day together and we are going to the CM as well. We are also going to Village Inn for pancakes. Can't wait to hear how Gavin does on his first day.
My others miss Mr. T when he's gone, too. We're like 2/3 of a whole;)
I do have to say, that teacher should move him to a spot where he's less inclined to chat. Sure, he can work on it, but she needs to assist him by providing the appropriate structure--and seating him by his best friend is just ASKING for trouble. I know as a 37 year old I'd have a hard time in class with my BFF next to me and I've got 30 years on your son!
i was CONSTANTLY in trouble for talking, but the punishment was missing recess, which, of course, was the only time I really could talk. heinous. I've got no advice, just a sort of "been there" comraderie to share with poor Tyler
Yeah, I was that kid in school too...which is funny, because I'm much more the quiet type now. I don't really have any advice, though..
Glad you had fun at the museum with Gavin. :)
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